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My Ears!?

updated 7/19/99

It's March 2nd 1998. I'm sitting peacefully in my office, checking the news and otherwise futzing around. Suddenly out of the corner of my ear I hear the word "lesbian" emanating from the television. I perk up my ears and hear, "the inner ears of lesbians work more like those of men."

I choke on my soda, thankfully facing the television and not my keyboard (I don't know about you, but I've ruined many a good keyboard with my drinks), and say, "Huh?"

Okay, let me get this right - a study has found that the inner ear in lesbians is less receptive to "soft" sounds than the inner ear in straight women. And that this difference is similar to the inner ear functions of gay and straight men.

I'm seriously considering getting my inner ear checked to see if I'm really a lesbian. Okay. I'm not seriously considering it, and in fact it was T who thought of the idea (and I do have to give her credit for her own thought and ideas, after all, she has some good ones or I wouldn't have married her), but it does raise a few questions.

If my inner ear didn't match this criteria, would that mean that I wasn't really a lesbian?


Hmmm. No, all my lesbian parts and instinct seem to be intact. I doubt my inner ear would make a difference.

It's been established that excessive exposure to loud sounds (such as many rock concerts, or performing at same) can damage the ability of the ear to pick up certain sounds. Do rock concerts create lesbians?

Let's assume that this "finding" is valid. So that means that some difference in the inner ear affects my mental, emotional, intellectual, and physical responses to such a degree that it is a determination of my orientation?

I have a lot of respect for science, but frankly I find that difficult to believe.

Let's assume for a moment that all lesbians have inner ears that are "masculine" (Hey! That's the reported analysis, not mine). So, that makes us all "want" women. But wouldn't we want a "real" woman? You know, one with a female-type functioning inner ear? Does it make sense that two people with divergent inner ears should get together?

Personally, I think it's all absurd.

I don't care whether there is a "gay gene," I don't care whether my inner ear is different. I don't believe that any of this matters in the ultimate scheme of things.

What does matter is that I am who I am - and I am entitled to the same rights and privileges as everybody else.

Nobody is running around to discover whether women predisposed to housework have some different body function and/or part.

Nobody is putting much stock in discovering why some people are naturally faster than others.

Nobody is exploring .... well, a lot of things.

I understand the need and desire of scientists to "know" all. But I don't want to put our efforts into finding out "why." I'd much rather put our efforts into making sure that it doesn't matter.

So, what do you think?

In pride,


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