Are We Not Parents? Part III
Dateline: 07/04/97
So far you've heard about my experiences with my son's school and with a lesbian mother's group. However, I'm the first to admit I'm lucky. T and I live in a state with reasonable laws and nobody is out there questioning our right to raise our child.
Not everybody is so fortunate, however.
There are three basic ways gay men and lesbians might have children to raise:
1. From a previous marriage/relationship
2. Adoption (and Foster Parenting)
3. Donor insemination
There are potential problems inherent in each, but former spouses (and sometimes other relatives) tend to cause the most problems.
Perhaps the most famous custody battle of recent years is the one involving Sharon Bottoms. Recently, Sharon decided to return to the battle, in an attempt to overturn the part of the visitation decision that bars any contact between her son, and her partner, April Wade. You should read the entire time line on the Bottoms case.
Let's look at a few other situations. Some with positive results, and others not so positive. Sadly, it seems that the state we live in has a lot to do with whether the Courts will allow us to raise our own children. As frightening as the bad cases are however, there are many positive results out there.
In Illinois, Rebecca Schroeder was able to retain custody of her children, the Courts ruling that decisions on custody were "sexual-orientation neutral."
In North Carolina, the Court of Appeals similarly ruled that sexual orientation is irrelevant to custody issues, granting custody to a gay father.
In Alabama a judge was barred from presiding over a custody case involving a lesbian because of his views on homosexuality.
Adoption (including co-parent adoption) has also been a big battle ground. In Illinois a Court held that the "best interests of the child" does not require an examination into the orientation of the prospective parent(s).
We know however, that all is not perfect. In Wyoming a Court upheld visitation restrictions imposed on a non-custodial lesbian mother, because she did not hide her "conspicuously divergent lifestyle."
We must end on a sad note, with perhaps the most tragic tale of all.
In Florida, a judge ruled that a father, a convicted murderer, was a better parent than the mother. The judge claimed that his decision had nothing to do with Mary Ward's lesbianism, and an appeals court upheld that decision. Mary Ward died last year, and it was suggested that the stress of the custody battle was a major factor in her death.
In Pride,
Deborah
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