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BOOK REVIEW - and a lesson in life -

"Over the Course of a Lifetime"
by J.G. Woodward

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Many years ago I was the moderator of a pretty active set of GLBT message boards. One of the most active participants was a heterosexual woman who was "straight but not narrow."

One thing she didn't understand was the proverbial bumper sticker of "sticking in people's faces." Because she was sincere, and not a jerk, I took the to ask her what she meant - "Why do you have to mention the type of relationship you're in, or who you're dating? Straight people don't do that."

And the challenge was on.

I told her to try and go for a week without mentioning husband or kids (this was long enough ago that would create a heterosexual presumption - heck, it still does).

She assumed it would be easy, and said, "You're on!"

She was abashed the first evening she came back to report. "You're right. I couldn't do it."

When I asked what happened, she noted that on her way to work, that very first morning, somebody noticed her keyring, which her husband had given her, and had a picture of him and their children. How could she say what it was, who it was from, without "coming out" as a straight person.

She began to understand further when she got to her office and noticed that she had  pictures of her family on her credenza. Should she take them down? They said "what" she was - and even if they didn't, what if somebody asked?

This was towards the end of the week, and as folks started discussing their weekend plans. She and her family were going camping. How could she discuss that - "My roommate?" "My, uh, well, friend and, uh, our kids...."

Like the old days of the Ms. Magazine "click" she grokked (see Heinlein) it and cried uncle.

To that end, I recently had the chance to read a book called "Over the Course of a Lifetime" by J. G. Woodward. Ms. Woodward wrote the history of a relationship - that of a man looking back over his life, and his relationships along the way. A straight man, raised in a predominantly gay world.

While at times I would have appreciated a more in depth look at the issues of the prejudices and biases a minority group based on orientation faces, I found that the book was an excellent overview of the history of the GLBT lives, hard times and good times - as if the world had been turned upside down.

It's going to be an eye-opener to some, especially the younger set (gay and straight alike) who have little or no idea of our history, and how far we've come.

This book may also be a good way to get a non-queer friend to understand what it's like, or even to help you try to explain to somebody curious enough to ask.

So buy a copy, help support a writer who is out there doing her part for the community, and don't forget to let me know what you think after you've read it --- who knows, I may publish your review! (with your permission, of course).

In Pride,

Deborah

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