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Coming Out Stories Gallery - Anon 2

I vaguely remember knowing I was different when I was in 2nd grade. But there were no words to describe it.

I also remember having an uneasy feeling about myself but not knowing how to tell anyone what it was.

One Halloween my mother and sister-in-law decided that I would make a cute girl. Finally, for the first time in my 8 (or 9) years, something felt better.

I was unmericifully teased by neighborhood boys when I would play house (I was the mother) instead of basketball. I gave into the pressure eventually.

Then, one day, I was watching a TV talk show. I believe it was Donahue. This 12-year old boy was watching this very tall woman tell everyone how she had a successful practice as Doctor Richard Raskind and gave it all up to be her true self, Renee Richards. My jaw hit the floor as she related her feelings during childhood. Those were MY feelings! She told of her fears and desires as she was growing up. Those, too were mine. She was telling the world what *I* thought, felt and feared. I knew then what was going on inside me. But she also told tales of harassment and ridicule. I experimented mainly behind closed doors until I was 18.

I had convinced myself that I was simply a male who crossdressed. I told myself that I did not want or need more than that. But there was this...

Now I'm in college and its Halloween again. The three women I hung out with a lot dared me to be a woman for the party they were attending. They knew of my previous experiments so I agreed.

Without details of the party, they (and I) saw the comfort and confidence I had in myself. I was spending more and more time as my other self in the months that followed. That is, until the school year ended and I was forced to return to my home town and bottle myself for later.

10 years (and many too many drinks) later, I am married and have a wonderful adopted son. My wife became pregnant with our first child. The bottle, from years of constant pressure and instability, finally came uncorked. I could no longer deny the jealousy I felt towards my wife. That was my child! *I* should be the one carrying it! HOW DARE SHE? At this point there was no turning back.

Now, 5+ years later, I am the person I was always meant to be. My ex-wife is engaged to be married and has given birth to her third child. I find myself in a glorious position, partnered with the woman of my dreams.

At last, I like me.

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