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Coming Out Stories Gallery - Dave (2)

I had always known that I liked men. I knew I liked their bodies anyway, at least from the time I was four years old. But that is another story. No, no bad sexual thing ever happened to me when I was a child.

When I was 16, I saw Kevin for the first time, I saw him from across the room and I knew I loved him. I looked at his long dark hair, dark eyes wonderful 15 year old body (he was on the track team) and I knew. I felt like I could see through to his soul, that we could really feel each other. All this from the initial glance across the little theater.

We did start to see more of each other and had sex and all that. He seemed so much more innocent than me. Anyway, during the year we went out with each other a lot happened. I suppose not the least of it was that I came out to my whole high school. All 6500 students, though Im sure only a couple thousand heard about it at most. To tell the truth, it was never much of a big deal for me. No one ever gave me a hard time about it. It felt good to be honest about it. It seemed to me that after I "came out" that a lot of the guys started doing it with each other and everyone had to tell me about it.

Kevin was of course outed in the whole process he was ok with that. It didnt seem to bother him. We went out for a year and in 1977 he told me that he wanted to date Gary H. Ok. I cried, it was over. We were friends after some months. Close friends. I graduated, the next year he didnt, drugs wound up screwing up his life, in 1991 he died of AIDS complications. He was beautiful.

Once, when in New York, I went to the Pyramid Club down in Alphabet City with Dennis. In 1983 this was a rough part of town. It was weird to discover people from my High School in Eastern Massachusetts at this club. This included Barry, my class president. I was told that he was gay too. Anyway, as it turns out, Gayle was on stage doing a performance art piece. She had been in the Drama Club with me and Kevin. At one point she said, "I wanted to go to the prom with Kevin F., But so did David O." She sort of looked at me.

I guess the point of my story is that it was no big deal for me to come out to my family, the school, anyone. It took courage I guess, but it would have taken so much stamina to lie about it. I think everyone knew about me and no one much cared. I never really did. I'm a fairly successful person. I figured be yourself, you know, to the extent possible. I still hide my sexual orientation a little bit if money is on the table. Call that hypocrisy if you want, but that's how little I care.

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copyright 1986-2010 Deborah Levinson