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Coming Out Stories Gallery - Harvey

I grew up in a small jersey shore town, my father was just out of the army, my mother was a nurse. i was the only child for five years. I always knew as a young child that i had sexual attraction toward my own gender, but i never gave it a second thought i did not have a word for it , even though i had heard the word gay around my house, because my mothers cousin is gay although somehow i always knew not to talk about it. my family always went to church every Sunday. (Episcopal) Soon my younger brother was born, then a sister, then another brother and many years later another sister. through my childhood things got rough, my father developed an alcohol/drug addiction my mother was working two jobs and going to school. and i lost in the mist of all this surronded by al my siblings was starting to realize just how diffrent i was. I got older and things at home got worse, dad took off, mom finally graduated so she was home more often. i went through high school in what seems noe like a foggy haze, that never really existed. I never drank i never did drugs, i also never talked to anyone. everyone labled me the freak, and the guys called me a faggot, it was not until highschool that i ever even heard that word. it cut through me like a hot knife in butter. that word for some reason hurt me so bad. and it only made me shelter myself more. junior year, i finally started to deal with life. i called myself bi-sexual for about a month, even though i still had never been with a man. then through my church choir, a met these two womyn, for some reason i stuck to them like glue, they made me feel so loved, one of them took me against my will to a g/l/b/t youth group, that was the turning point of my life. i kicked and screamed my way "out" of my shell. for the first time i allowed myself to have friends. and they were and still are more than friends. they are a special family to me. I soon came out to the very few people I talked to at school. then I went away one weekend to the Episcopal diocese convention, and I left behind a letter for my mother.When I got home boy was my mother pissed off. She was so angry because i did not trust her enough to talk with her, and because I endured this secret for so long. She assured me she loved me, and that being gay was no diffrent than having blue or brown eyes. she told me that God makes people the way God wants to and God does not make mistakes. She then told all of my siblings, and extended family. I was lucky, my story has a happy ending, I have so many friends (Family), I have good self-esteem, and a positive outlook. And as God is my witness I will never, ever allow anyone, to put me or my people down, because they are ignorant.I would encourage all who seek coming out to first establish, yourself in the community, believe me you will be accepted with open, caring and most important understanding arms. then work on your family and friends. Good Luck and always remember "It is better to be hated for who you are, than loved for who you are not."

Your brother,
Harvey

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