Here I am at 40 falling in love with a female co-worker.
I too always felt different in the sense I didn't feel so femine although my mom dressed me to look pretty and femine. I had my first crush around 11 or 12 with my sister's teacher who was a nun. Her face was so beautiful and I thought about her all the time, volunteered to help out anytime I could. Then I had my second crush with a Biology Teacher would was Asian. I dated boys all the while but didn't have the feelings other gilrsl shared with me about their boyfriends.
By 18, I decided to marry a man because he stimulated me sexually. After 3 years I divorced him. I married a second time after 11 years to a man who consistently pursued me and controlled me. I divorced him after bearing 2 kids and falling involved with my co-worker who was 14 years my senior. I left the job because she denied having the same feelings in fear that she would be found out by her boss, family member and didn't have enough confidence in me because she considered me to be a social lite.
She pursued me with daily firtations, touching, being at my side. She later stated she did what she did because she didn't like the other people.
It's been 4 years since I left and I still feel the same about her. I kept my distance, hoping she would again pursue me but this hasn't happen.
Missing her and alone raising two small children.
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