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Ms-HD Speaks

Dear Ms-HD,

I have been married to a wonderful woman who is very good to me for three years. I have been true to her and never want to hurt her. We have a friend who I have been attracted to for more than three years but I have always chosen to do what I considered to be the right thing. Recently I have finally recognized that I am in love with this woman. We have always flirted but we would never do anything to hurt my partner. The other night I finally told my friend how I felt. We shared our first kiss that night. She has put the brakes on this quickly because she is a better friend than I have become a partner. I must admit that my heart is broken. I am considering leaving my partner because she deserves better than I am giving her. This is very out of character for me but I cannot deny my feelings for this other woman. What should I do?

Heartbroken

Ms-HD speaks:

Bitch that I am or have been called, personally, I think it is wrong
to stay with someone when you long for another, whether the other
agrees or not. My feeling is people get married too soon, or marry
for too many reasons. Does your mate know? I bet not. Would she
want to hold you to her , knowing this? I have no idea. I think you
do all three of you a disservice by staying with one and longing for
another.

Now! Professionally, I would tell you to A. If you love your mate
and this is an aberrant occurrence, work through it. B. If you want
some one bad enough to engage in activity and you are not committed to
your mate, then move on before you hurt your spouse worse.

Remember this, if you can take another away from their mate, or you
can be taken from your mate... it can happen again... and most likely
will!

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Drop a note to Deborah at gaylesissues@rslevinson.com

copyright 1986-2010 Deborah Levinson