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Coming Out Stories Gallery - Anna

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So far I've only started to come out to three people. The ones I still have to come out to will be the worst.

Anyways, here's my story. I grew up in a very fundamentalist home, always taught that being homosexual was evil, was a quick way to hell, etc. I was always a tomboy growing up, climbing trees, playing sports, and playing with action figures instead of dolls. I continued to play sports in high school. Because of my upbringing, I never considered the possibility that I might be a lesbian.

At 19, I got married. I will be celebrating (if that is the correct word for it) my ninth wedding anniversary in a few weeks, on Valentine's Day. Although I actively dislike sex with my husband, our friendship was enough to keep me married and sleeping with him for 8 1/2 years. Then things started changing.

For example, I discovered erotic fiction, sex-letters magazines, and pornography, and found that the stories I was interested in were the lesbian stories. Yet I continued to ignore the evidence.

As my marriage continued to deteriorate, as a sort of defense mechanism, I started getting crushes on guys that I already knew were impossible: a guy who not only was married but both he and his wife worked at my office, a guy who mentioned his girlfriend several times in one of my first conversations with him, and finally a guy who was very, very gay. He even wears makeup to work.

During that time, I tried to leave my husband, but he cried for three hours, so I agreed to stay. I also found out that a guy I thought of as just a friend had a crush on me. We had an affair, or more accurately a one-morning stand. It was worse than sex with my husband.

Through my friendship with the gay guy I had a crush on, I started questioning things about myself. I'm still not 100% sure I'm a lesbian. I can't say that I've ever been attracted to a woman. But right now, I'm probably about 80% sure.

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