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Coming Out Stories Gallery - Ashton


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10 years ago, when I was 17, I had my first gay experience, which confirmed my feelings for the same sex, although I had known for some time before this. Hopelessly in love, I was clumsy with my discretion, and my sister had found a letter from my boyfriend, Chris. My parents did not take to it at all, and I was sent for recourse with a psychologist for over a year, and I never did see or hear from Chris again. My mother died about a year later, which filled me with guilt, although I had no responsibilty for her death. My relationship with my father has been strained for years, and I decided to move to overseas, and begin my own life. I was always angry with the way things turned out - that is, that nothing was on my terms, everything was decided for me by my family. However, after years of resentment and fury, I realized that I had nothing to be angry about at all - for it was all wasted emotion, when I should have been spending my time more wisely on thing that did matter to me. Since moving away, it has brought my father and I closer, however, I am still at a distance with my sister - should this change, I would very much like it, but she needs to make the first change within herself.
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copyright 1986-2010 Deborah Levinson