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Coming Out Stories Gallery - Rachel

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Since I was three I knew that I was attracted to women, but I never thought anything of it. I am currently 18.

Once, when I was eight, this little friend of mine came to spend the night and I remember trying to get her to take off her shirt so I could touch her.

Well, when I really came out I was 15. The first time I saw this girl (I will call her M.), I was very attracted to her..but she already had a girlfriend, and I had never really explored anything other than heterosexuality. M. was a friend of a friend of mine and a few weeks after I met her, I happened to go to a friends house to watch movies and hang out, M. was also there.

I remember sitting on the couch next to her and telling her how lovely she was. We didn't speak very much, but when I curled up at the end of the couch to nap, I felt her curl up against me. My whole body was shaking with anticipation and fear and she slipped her hands up my skirt and into my bra and then down into my panties to touch me. Our other friends were trying not to notice, but I think they were a little repulsed.

She eventually asked if I would like to go upstairs with her, but I declined, feeling that I wasn't quite ready to go that far yet.

Over the next few months, we would meet up and hang out, and eventually we made love. Our relationship lasted eight months...and then I broke her heart.

I have now been in a monogamous relationship with a man for two years. He is very feminine, and I often wish that I could change his sex and make him a woman. It's hard for me to be bi. I have no desire to cheat on him or be with someone else, yet I still crave a woman. M. and I are now really good friends and she completely understands this. At least he is completely like a woman in everyway save for the external aspects. Sometimes I wonder if it means that I am just a lesbian in denial.

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